17
Dec
2008

Proof that blondes aren’t anywhere near as daft as we claim…

Apologies to all my blonde friends, I couldn’t help but share this :D

01
Sep
2008

Dear Idiot

Thank you for the SPAM. I am glad to hear that all is well and that you are finally living that dream of sitting on your fat ass, doing absolutely fuck-all and earning big bucks for it.

As for me … I prefer to work for a living. No matter how many times they say it on Carte Blanche and how many people send me the same stupid email with fake testimonials, I cannot bring myself to accept Bill Gates’ money for the AOL deal – it just doesn’t seem like real work to me and you know how I am about these things.

Please SPAM me again so that I can justify blacklisting your email address.

Your friend

Sorry Hardworking Cunt

11
Jun
2008

BREAKING NEWS

An earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hit Zimbabwe Early this morning. Two million Zimbabweans are reported dead and over a million are injured. The country is totally ruined and the government doesn’t know where to start and is asking for help to rebuild. The rest of the world is in shock.

Canada is sending troopers to help the army control the riots. Saudi Arabia is sending oil. Latin American countries are sending supplies. The European community (except France ) is sending food and money.

The South African government, not to be outdone, is sending two million Zimbabweans to replace the dead ones.

Viva South Africa!!!!

You heard it here first :)

10
Jun
2008

Beware teh_pr0n

grumpy nun
lol priest

19
Feb
2008

OH SHIT!!! I’m IT and we’re running out of bloggers to TAG

My friend Willie decided the rest of the world should know 8 things about me that they don’t already. He also wishes me to tag some of my blogger friends who (hopefully) haven’t been tagged yet … which sucks, because this round has been going for a while.

  1. I shave more than just my head & face in the mornings – ;)
  2. I am red/green colour blind – yes, I see colour, but certain shades of certain colours can be a real bitch sometimes.
  3. I once owned an Opel … an ugly (well they’re all ugly) brown Ascona 1.6 automatic – I hate Opels in general, but this thing was slow, ugly (did I mention that they’re all ugly) and almost constantly breaking.
  4. I never did finish Final Fantasy VII – I am an avid fan of this turn based masterpiece and am most embarrassed to say that I never finished the most highly regarded of all the Final Fantasy games … I kept dying on stage two of the ultimate boss level … DIE SEPIROTH DIE!!!
  5. I once came dead last in a marathon – well … half marathon/obstacle course jobby – it was primary school and my testicles we just becoming conscious of being … ’nuff said.
  6. I have erection issues – I can’t get it down sufficiently in the morning to make good aiming at the right end of the loo … so I end up either peeing like a girlie or peeing in the shower … boys will be boys I suppose.
  7. I had plastic surgery once – and never again do I wish to own a credit card … they’re evil
  8. I am shit scared of growing old – I am not even elaborating on this one.

There’s it – now the world knows eight things about me that they formerly didn’t and now know at least 8 that they wish they didn’t. Now to find some geeks to slap some tagging on…

CharlVN – you’re IT oubie
Anthony Hazell – come on … we’d love to see the inside of your closet
Chris Rawlinson – it’s about time you wrote something
Paul Jacobson … a look at the wired works would be great

My apologies to those whom I have tagged that wished not to be and/or have been tagged by others … it’s not like I asked for this either, but let’s get to know you anyway.