March 24th, 2008
Not to be discouraged by the flawed system that is online dating sites/applications, I still subscribe to a number of them. What I realise is that most ladies who part-take in the exercise are completely oblivious to the fact that men cannot/are to stubborn to read between the lines.
I touched on some of the below in the previous post in what many concerned to be a crude fashion, so following then the socially acceptable version. Some pointers to help you help us and vice versa:
- Please state your age – ladies sometimes use photographs of themselves when they were younger; this makes it difficult to judge how old the person in question is and might lead to disappointment that might otherwise have been avoided. As a rule I won’t go on a date with (much) older women and it is my understanding that most women still date older guys as a rule as well.
- Don’t use avatars – as already stated, guys really suck at reading between the lines. If you use an avatar instead of a picture of yourself, what are you trying to tell us. Example in point: you might post a picture Angelina Jolie instead of your own. This could mean that you a.) look like Angie, b.) wished you looked like Angie, c.) are the real life personification of Lara Croft, d.) adopt orphans from all over the world as a hobby. See my dilemma?
- Don’t use pictures of your children – most applications leave space for stating whether you have any children or not. Posting pictures of your children is reckless and might potentially put them in danger from sexual predators. I do not wish to elaborate on this point much – suffice it to say that I feel very strongly about this one.
- Please state clearly what your goals are. Simply stating that you are single might leave a person to believe that you are making use of an online dating service in order to become involved in a romantic relationship with someone; I have a number of lady friends who use dating services as a means to spruce up their social lives and just meet people in general – ladies who relocated and are subsequently new to an area, tend to employ this tactic frequently … tell us that.
- …and finally, don’t tell us what you think we want to hear in order to improve your chances of finding a soul mate – inevitably you create the wrong impression or end up with someone under false pretenses. No one likes being lied to. We live in a time where it is acceptable to be open about your political, religious and social views – don’t be afraid to speak your mind. You might get less response as a consequence, but at least you’ll get a genuine response (most of the time).
Well it goes without saying that the above should apply to guys as well, but there’s no telling if a list this short would fulfill the needs of our female counterparts.
Posted in a fine wake | No Comments »
February 19th, 2008
My friend Willie decided the rest of the world should know 8 things about me that they don’t already. He also wishes me to tag some of my blogger friends who (hopefully) haven’t been tagged yet … which sucks, because this round has been going for a while.
- I shave more than just my head & face in the mornings –
- I am red/green colour blind – yes, I see colour, but certain shades of certain colours can be a real bitch sometimes.
- I once owned an Opel … an ugly (well they’re all ugly) brown Ascona 1.6 automatic – I hate Opels in general, but this thing was slow, ugly (did I mention that they’re all ugly) and almost constantly breaking.
- I never did finish Final Fantasy VII – I am an avid fan of this turn based masterpiece and am most embarrassed to say that I never finished the most highly regarded of all the Final Fantasy games … I kept dying on stage two of the ultimate boss level … DIE SEPIROTH DIE!!!
- I once came dead last in a marathon – well … half marathon/obstacle course jobby – it was primary school and my testicles we just becoming conscious of being … ’nuff said.
- I have erection issues – I can’t get it down sufficiently in the morning to make good aiming at the right end of the loo … so I end up either peeing like a girlie or peeing in the shower … boys will be boys I suppose.
- I had plastic surgery once – and never again do I wish to own a credit card … they’re evil
- I am shit scared of growing old – I am not even elaborating on this one.
There’s it – now the world knows eight things about me that they formerly didn’t and now know at least 8 that they wish they didn’t. Now to find some geeks to slap some tagging on…
CharlVN – you’re IT oubie
Anthony Hazell – come on … we’d love to see the inside of your closet
Chris Rawlinson – it’s about time you wrote something
Paul Jacobson … a look at the wired works would be great
My apologies to those whom I have tagged that wished not to be and/or have been tagged by others … it’s not like I asked for this either, but let’s get to know you anyway.
Posted in off with his head | 5 Comments »
February 18th, 2008
w00t … it is almost time for the first Cape Town 27 Dinner of the year (they left it very late) and teh_VN/teh_oubie/mylanie … aka CharlVN will be in attendance.
Yep, we’re firing up our roadsmobile and headed down to the madacity to conclude some business and have a bit of vino aka big love on the side.
With a wee bit of luck, two of our major projects will be completed by then and ready for launch … expect announcements from the relevant parties (excuse the pun
) on those – we’re negotiating appearances by the stakeholders.
See you in the mother of all cities February 27 … peace
Posted in alice goes exploring | 1 Comment »
January 7th, 2008
Well I am completely and utterly perplexed …
I was just checking out some profiles on Facebook – you know the ones looking to meet other single people by means of flirtable, Meet New People or Zoosk (the newest of the lot it seems and by far my favourite). Now I agree with the whole concept, because I make the assumption that meeting my other/better half depends on me creating a shortlist from a list of as many candidates as possible – or maybe I am still single after all these years because I am too full of shit, too ugly or just not relationship material … tough choice there.
Be that as it may, there are a number of things that I do not understand (which has become a common occurrence on these sites/applications) – my list:
- Why do people hide their profiles or parts thereof? Doesn’t that sort of defeat the whole object of the site? It’s like complaining about never meeting people, while never bothering to get out there and meet people. Sure, our schedules are such that we don’t always have/make the time and that is why we employ online solutions, but then hiding your profile …. ? I just don’t get it.
- Why list yourself on a dating site and then use an avatar, wedding photo or photo of yourself and your retarded sister in a wheelchair or yourself and a group of fifty friends as your profile picture. Gawd … how the fuck am I supposed to know what you look like, if you are really single or what you are trying to convey there? Will your sister be tagging along on our first or second date?
- Why would the developers choose not to include criteria such as location and age in user profiles? So I meet the chick of my dreams with the Meet New People application – one slight hiccup though …. she lives in Benoni and I live in George … WTF
All that aside though, these services have one thing in common that I always fall victim to – expectation. One would be forgiven for expecting (with these applications having user bases that number thousands) that your success rate should be good … forget it. Success stories are few and far between and it feels like, with every new service I subscribe to, I waste more precious energy than it’s worth. The dark place beckons…
Posted in make it tick again | 1 Comment »
December 27th, 2007
the mad hatter’s funeral has oficially moved to it’s new home … HERE … and all posts about my life/personal experiences will be posted here in future. I don’t think all of my clients appreciate the swearing and motherfuckering going on – especially not if it’s a bit in-your-face in the form of an RSS feed on the front page of my portfolio site.
We road trip frequently and there be much bad deeding and quaffing going on … this’ll be where you read all about it in future. So go ahead and hit that RSS thinger, grab a glass and stay for the afterparty…
The theme will be modified shortly into something more appealing/suitable/less dull, but the bills need paying so site revamp takes preference at present.
Peace
Jayx
Edit: Theme done and dusted.
Posted in a fine wake | 2 Comments »